The man beside me on my flight declared war with me when he invaded my territory through the Great Trail of the Armrest.
I moved quickly and counter attacked with my infamously pointy and dangerous elbow to show him just who he is messing with.
He then pulled out a bag of little peppers that probably originated from an island that nobody has ever heard of or been to and sold on the black market alongside of heroin. These seemingly harmless and inoffensive snacks were very much the opposite, because as he chewed, the fire-inspired spicy fumes leaked over to my territory!
My frantic attempts of self defense included (but were not limited to) pulling my jacket over my face and shoving my wrist up to my nose in hopes to smell my Chanel perfume that I had spritzed generously this morning.
He won that battle. But I will win this war! I'm pulling out every screen I have (two laptops, my iPhone, and a Nook), and will be strategically looking up things no man will want to see for the duration of this flight/battery life.